nor any drop to drink

I just came back from the NZ teachers/health workers/firefighters strike, so I might be a bit riled up, but I think the problem is just so much deeper than pay (although the pay here does suck and so the the pay raise proposal). So, here's an extremely biased and fired up appraisal of my personal situation about visas, which after writing it all out, i realized I never explicitly made the link. It's there...really.

When I lived and worked in Korea for 10 years, I never had an issue with visas. I could switch visas easily. It was cheap and very fast, and I usually got same day approval with my official visa being sent by mail a week or two later. My credentials were checked and approved within a week or two the first time I moved there even. My marriage visa was approved in 4 days. The cost of these visas ranged from $50-$200.

Korea gets SO MANY immigrants and students and workers from around the world, and processes these quickly.^[1]

In contrast, New Zealand took MONTHS to even look at mine and my wife's visa applications. It was so slow that my wife couldn't even get a full year on her visa because it took them 3 months to start processing hers. This meant that she couldn't enroll at a GP, so she basically pays 3x what I pay if she goes to the doctor. When we first came, my student visa had to be deferred 1 whole year because they were so slow at processing it that I couldn't attend my program in time. I sent my application in a month and a half early which was as soon as the university did the final interviews and allowed admission. I sent it in as soon as possible, and they still couldn't get it done in time.

Now I'm trying to apply to work in Australia and there is so much paperwork that doesn't help. Like needing my high school transcripts from 2007 even though I graduated university (easy to get transcripts from there at least) and I graduated the post graduate diploma in New Zealand (also easy to get transcripts though it takes 2 weeks compared to 1 day from American uni...ugh). They won't accept the official practicum documents from Auckland University because they didn't write the amount of mf days I did at each mf school, even though they wrote the total number of days I did the practicum at both schools. They only specify that I need to have confirmed 80 days supervised practicum, which I do, from the uni! And I can't even apply for interest in a visa until I get these documents which are not standard in New Zealand, so it takes about a month to get them.

On top of that, the NZ residence visa costs NZ$6,450 and the Australia 482 visa costs AUD$6,230 for you and your partner (plus additional fees for tests and assessments).^[2] And it takes up to 9 months to process!^[3]

WTF is wrong with this system! Why are they so much less efficient, and so much more expensive, for no reason other than exclusivity? Do they just not understand that without immigrants they will keep having unfilled job roles? 42% of workforce growth over the last 5 years in Australia was due to migrant workers. Do they like having unmet needs?

The part where I get way too specific about my situation

Korea processes teaching visas in less than a week, with some cases taking 2-3 weeks at most. General work visa processing is 2-4 weeks.^[4]

New Zealand's Straight to Residence Visa (for Green List occupations like teachers) has a target of 80% processed within 5 months.^[5] My experience of longer delays shows even these targets aren't always met.

Australia's current processing shows 50% processed in 7 months and 90% in 9-11 months.^[3:1] This is a joke. I feel like Truman every time he tried to go to Fiji.

So Korea processes visas 10-50x faster than NZ/Australia and charges 27-52x less, while handling millions of foreign workers efficiently. Great. At least I have a baseline to compare inefficiencies.

The part that makes me want to scream

New Zealand has a teacher shortage. Like a serious one, around 3000 teachers short.^[6] Teachers are on the Green List for fast-track residence because they're desperately needed.^[7] Schools are cancelling subjects. Principals are teaching classes themselves. Some schools had zero applications from NZ-trained teachers.^[8]

AND. YET.

The Immigration Minister said the visa fee increases were to ensure "those benefiting from the immigration system contribute to its operational costs" rather than having taxpayers subsidize it. They're projecting savings of over NZ$563 million over four years.^[9] The Straight to Residence visa now costs NZ$6,450.

Hol' up, prof. Immigrant teachers heavily benefit from the system and taxpayers shouldn't subsidize new teachers coming into the 3000 teacher shortage?

Who actually benefits here?

Students benefit from having qualified teachers rather than subject cancellations or non-specialists teaching out of their field. New Zealand's economy benefits where education leaders explicitly stated addressing teacher shortage matters "for the sake of our economy."^[10] Schools benefit from not being understaffed.

And the teacher? Gets to pay NZ$6,450 for the privilege of filling a desperate need, working in understaffed schools, earning 20-40% less than Australia while facing higher cost of living,^[11] and dealing with excessive workload that forces teachers into ill health.^[12]

The cognitive dissonance is more convoluted than the first turn of a yu-gi-oh duel. Teacher shortage is a "crisis" requiring millions in investment. Teachers are on the Green List for fast-track residence. But also, teachers should pay premium prices to come here because they're the primary beneficiaries.

The part where they keep trying to gaslight me

The real evil part is the double think.

"We have a crisis-level teacher shortage!" "Teachers are on our priority Green List!" "We're investing millions to recruit teachers!" "Now kiss the ring and pay us $6,450 and wait 5-9 months, you fucking losers lol."

Inefficient or ideologically incoherent. However you interpret this, it's fucking stupid. They simultaneously claim they need you desperately while treating you like an inconvenience.

Countries like Korea operate immigration systems designed around pragmatic workforce planning. Countries like NZ and Australia operate immigration systems designed around political optics and cost recovery, where being seen as "tough" on immigration matters more than actually solving workforce problems.^[13]

TL;DR

I lived the alternative. I know for a fact that it doesn't have to be this way. Korea showed me:

• Fast processing (days/weeks)
• Reasonable cost ($50-200)
• Straightforward requirements
• Recognition that skilled workers are mutually beneficial

Then I come to the "developed" English-speaking world and encounter systems that are:

• 10-50x slower
• 20-100x more expensive
• Infinitely more bureaucratic
• Built on the assumption that I'm the problem

I've done everything they asked. I got qualified, gained experience, followed the rules, tried to fill a desperate need. And I've been rewarded with months of delays, thousands of dollars in fees, bureaucratic nonsense like high school transcripts from 2007, and being treated like I'm asking for a favor instead of offering a solution. The system is working exactly as designed and the design is sending me into my villain arc. And, don't even get me started on the sorry state of education here. Sometimes the only rational response to an irrational system is anger. I'm morphing from "Jack's complete lack of surprise" to "Jack's raging bile duct" or whatever cathartic quote works for you.